Sarah Dessen is pregnant with her first child. I have to restrain myself from posting comments on her site when she writes about the travails of being pregnant. She's having trouble focusing, has cravings, is trying to finish a book which is difficult when pregnant. I just want to scream, OhmiGod! Just wait, honey! Being pregnant is no picnic, I agree--but having the actual baby (and by that I don't mean just the actual giving birth part) rocks your world like nothing you've ever known. It doesn't even rock it--it decimates it--and you must attempt to re-create it and you while being unbelievably drained and exhausted. The actual birth process is akin to running several marathons back to back, after which there is not rest for the weary--but instead the beginning of non-stop soothing, nursing, rocking, crying (both you and the baby), sweating, and identity crisis all done on little to no sleep. I really think that God planned it this way on purpose. The first months are like Motherhood Boot Camp. It's like you are slammed into motherhood with such overwhelming force that after you make it through those first months nothing can ever shake you in the same way again (barring war, death, homelessness--etc. you can get the point.) Not even having future children affects you the same way as the first. For subsequent pregnancies you have no time to ponder how tired you are or the craving you have. You just move, move, move! Your perspective completely changes.
I say all this only because I'm curious to see if Dessen will continue to write in her livejournal during the months after she gives birth, and if she does, how her public presentation to the world will be manifest.
On a slightly different note I have been thinking about how so many teachers I know have decided not to have their own children. They want to work with children all day, every day, but they don't want to have their own little rugrats. I find this curious. I also find it curious that so many of these incredible children's/YA authors don't have kids--Meg Cabot and Rachel Cohn for starters. They get kids, they write for kids, yet they don't have their own kids. It could be that Cohn is single and therefore doesn't want a child or doesn't feel she is in a position to have one. Who knows. Cohn doesn't really keep a published journal, so it's hard to know who she is or about her life.
I love reading people's journals. I'm not exactly sure what this means about me. I love first person narration as well, though, so perhaps I'm just interested in story--people's own versions of their own stories. It's different reading a journal by someone who is publishing to the world, with the intent of being read by as many people as possible. I suppose it's a good move in terms of marketing and in terms of writing practice. But how does one decide what is appropriate to share and what is not? How much of Dessen's journal is a contrivance? I think reading people's private world in bonafide journals (ie, finding your Grampa's journal in the attic long after he has passed away) much more interesting in that the words weren't intended for a mass audience. Or were they? I always imagine that someday someone will read my journals, even though they are ostensibly private. I still feel I am writing to or for
someone, not just myself.Enough.
I have been reading two books simultaneously this week, Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld and Prom by Laurie Halse Anderson. I have quite a bit to say about both. I love the both. Do I ever hate a book? That is the big question. Maybe I've just gotten really good at picking out books I know I will like? Anyway, I have a lot to say about these books, but I'm sick of writing. Ciao!
3 comments:
I LOVED Prep!!!!! Did you read American Wife yet?? I could not put either of these down. I will add "Prom" to my reading list...
you are good at picking out books because yes, I do hate some books. I need you to be my personal librarian!
I TOTALLY agree about journals. Do you think we are writing and actually imagining someone else reading it as you do? It doesn't change what we write...or does it. Because honestly..what becomes of them once someone dies! They must be read.
Being a child-free adult I have often thought about what sort of a father I'd make. My honest conclusion is that I'd be dreadful at it. Long term. I'd be reaching for the duct tape regularly.
But short term I have people telling me that I seem to be good with kids. I think the key words here are short term. I put up with them because they're going to go away soon. Maybe that's why kid writers and teachers et al like their jobs and don't have kids.
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